How to Ask a Girl for her Number

How to get a girl's phone number

Here’s an effective way to get her number and increase the chance of a future meetup.

  1. Have a good conversation. If things are awkward and you don’t like each other there’s obviously no point in trying to see her again.
  2. Set up the date in person. Figure out an activity that you’ll both enjoy. Sometimes guys make the mistake of asking a girl out on a date that she won’t enjoy. If that’s the case and she turns you down, it’s a reflection of her distaste for that activity, not a rejection of you.
  3. Figure out when you’re both free. This is 400% easier to figure out in person vs. over text.
  4. Ask for her number. I usually say something like,“Doing XYZ with you sounds like a blast. Let me grab your number and I’ll text you later.”
    “XYZ sounds like fun! Give me your number and I’ll text you on Thursday.”
    “It’s been really cool talking to you. Would you like to keep the conversation going another day?” “Sure!” “OK cool, let me get your number.”
    “What’s your number? I’m going to try to spell your name right in my contacts. Is this right?”

    And I hand her my phone with the contact app open and her name written in.
  5. Stay for a few minutes after you get the number. This solidifies the “relationship”. It shows her that you’re confident and fully interested in a future meetup.

Are Your Numbers Going Nowhere?

How to get her number

Was the interaction good enough to ask for the number?

If you’re getting a lot of phone numbers that are going nowhere you’re probably not having great conversations with women. Understand, getting numbers is the easiest part of the equation, most women you ask will give it to you. However, getting a girl to reply and meet up for a date is another story.

Most guys only end up going on dates with the women who they have an unusually good connection with. That’s normal. It’s an indication that the issue is rarely how you get the number, far more important is what type of interaction you have.

How to Have Confidence

How to have confidence

Self-confidence comes from doing scary shit. If you stopped reading right now and did one thing that you’re scared to do, you would notice a boost in your confidence. Here’s why.

Fear Holds us Back

Learning to skydive

For most people, learning to skydive is not the “scary shit” that they need to focus on

Anytime I refer to a “scary action”, I mean one that you’re personally afraid to perform. That doesn’t mean skydiving, it means those small things which we love to avoid. Going to the dentist, asking a girl out on a date, quitting a dead-end job, having a difficult conversation with the family, signing up for a gym membership, etc.

Doing “scary shit” builds confidence because you’re conquering fear. After it’s done and you’re still alive, you’ve proved yourself capable of improving your life. Taking right action is rarely easy, but neither is feeling like shit about yourself.

Putting off scary action is like procrastinating on a surgery. The consequences might not be apparent today. However, in time you’ll deal with an even larger problem. If you make it a habit to take care of scary things as they arise, you typically won’t have a confidence issue. You’ll feel good about your life and the direction that you’re headed.

Building Confidence

Here are some examples of building confidence through right action.

  • Lack of confidence with women. Resolve to speak to 10 women a week and see what happens.
  • Lack of confidence with your shirt off. Go to the gym and get a personal trainer.
  • Lack of confidence intellectually. Stop watching television, sell the Xbox, start reading books (33 Books to Read Before You Die).
  • Lack of financial confidence. Start reading about effective ways to build wealth and create a plan to increase your income.
  • Lack of confidence in your future. Define your dream lifestyle and lay out the steps to get there.

The truth is that if someone put a gun to your head you could probably tell them exactly what you need to do to improve your self-confidence. But knowing is not enough, you must act on that knowledge. Starting small is a good way to get the ball rolling in the right direction. However, the big-picture aim is to proactively take right action and gain massive confidence in all areas of your life.