What is an Alpha Male?

What is an alpha male

Author Rollo Tomassi makes a good point: each man tends to define “alpha” differently. One guy defines alpha as confidence in social situations and a muscular physique. Another considers alpha to be emotional control and an intimate understanding of women. I accept that these are part of being alpha. However, I favor a more encompassing definition. For me, a man is alpha when he’s fulfilling his life’s purpose, is unaffected by the opinions of others and is continually pushing his comfort zone. Let’s break this down further.

The Recipe for an Alpha Male

  1. Does he have hobbies that don’t involve a television?
  2. Is he taking consistent action to realize his goals?
  3. Is he appreciative of what he has even as he seeks to improve it?
  4. Does he have a good relationship with his family and friends?
  5. Is he happy without depending on junk food, drugs or alcohol to stimulate his mood?
  6. Does he have the persistence to stick with something even when it’s difficult?
  7. Does he do well with women or is he putting in the work required to do well with women?

No matter where you’re at now, if you focus on these 7 things your life will drastically change. In fact, you’ll probably be amazed at how good life can be. We’re lucky in that every man has the potential to develop a fascinating lifestyle and an abundance with women. Balancing these two is the ideal and it’s been my focus for the last couple of years.

The Alpha Doctrine Philosophy

The rewards of being alpha are awesome

As a guy who talks to a lot of girls I love to write about the shortest route to getting laid. However, I also focus on techniques and strategies that allow one to build an enviable lifestyle. These are not magic pill solutions but if you give them enough time they will change your life.

I’m a learner myself and I’m always striving to have more awesome adventures, hook up with more women and create an even more kick-ass life. I mess up all the time but I’m also enjoying more and more success. I’m discovering that being an alpha male means taking on more responsibility. While this isn’t always easy, the rewards are incredible. I look forward to growing with you and I hope you find this content as useful as I have!

How to Ask a Girl for her Number

How to get a girl's phone number

Here’s an effective way to get her number and increase the chance of a future meetup.

  1. Have a good conversation. If things are awkward and you don’t like each other there’s obviously no point in trying to see her again.
  2. Set up the date in person. Figure out an activity that you’ll both enjoy. Sometimes guys make the mistake of asking a girl out on a date that she won’t enjoy. If that’s the case and she turns you down, it’s a reflection of her distaste for that activity, not a rejection of you.
  3. Figure out when you’re both free. This is 400% easier to figure out in person vs. over text.
  4. Ask for her number. I usually say something like,“Doing XYZ with you sounds like a blast. Let me grab your number and I’ll text you later.”
    “XYZ sounds like fun! Give me your number and I’ll text you on Thursday.”
    “It’s been really cool talking to you. Would you like to keep the conversation going another day?” “Sure!” “OK cool, let me get your number.”
    “What’s your number? I’m going to try to spell your name right in my contacts. Is this right?”

    And I hand her my phone with the contact app open and her name written in.
  5. Stay for a few minutes after you get the number. This solidifies the “relationship”. It shows her that you’re confident and fully interested in a future meetup.

Are Your Numbers Going Nowhere?

How to get her number

Was the interaction good enough to ask for the number?

If you’re getting a lot of phone numbers that are going nowhere you’re probably not having great conversations with women. Understand, getting numbers is the easiest part of the equation, most women you ask will give it to you. However, getting a girl to reply and meet up for a date is another story.

Most guys only end up going on dates with the women who they have an unusually good connection with. That’s normal. It’s an indication that the issue is rarely how you get the number, far more important is what type of interaction you have.

How to Have Confidence

How to have confidence

Self-confidence comes from doing scary shit. If you stopped reading right now and did one thing that you’re scared to do, you would notice a boost in your confidence. Here’s why.

Fear Holds us Back

Learning to skydive

For most people, learning to skydive is not the “scary shit” that they need to focus on

Anytime I refer to a “scary action”, I mean one that you’re personally afraid to perform. That doesn’t mean skydiving, it means those small things which we love to avoid. Going to the dentist, asking a girl out on a date, quitting a dead-end job, having a difficult conversation with the family, signing up for a gym membership, etc.

Doing “scary shit” builds confidence because you’re conquering fear. After it’s done and you’re still alive, you’ve proved yourself capable of improving your life. Taking right action is rarely easy, but neither is feeling like shit about yourself.

Putting off scary action is like procrastinating on a surgery. The consequences might not be apparent today. However, in time you’ll deal with an even larger problem. If you make it a habit to take care of scary things as they arise, you typically won’t have a confidence issue. You’ll feel good about your life and the direction that you’re headed.

Building Confidence

Here are some examples of building confidence through right action.

  • Lack of confidence with women. Resolve to speak to 10 women a week and see what happens.
  • Lack of confidence with your shirt off. Go to the gym and get a personal trainer.
  • Lack of confidence intellectually. Stop watching television, sell the Xbox, start reading books (33 Books to Read Before You Die).
  • Lack of financial confidence. Start reading about effective ways to build wealth and create a plan to increase your income.
  • Lack of confidence in your future. Define your dream lifestyle and lay out the steps to get there.

The truth is that if someone put a gun to your head you could probably tell them exactly what you need to do to improve your self-confidence. But knowing is not enough, you must act on that knowledge. Starting small is a good way to get the ball rolling in the right direction. However, the big-picture aim is to proactively take right action and gain massive confidence in all areas of your life.