How to Have Confidence

How to have confidence

Self-confidence comes from doing scary shit. If you stopped reading right now and did one thing that you’re scared to do, you would notice a boost in your confidence. Here’s why.

Fear Holds us Back

Learning to skydive

For most people, learning to skydive is not the “scary shit” that they need to focus on

Anytime I refer to a “scary action”, I mean one that you’re personally afraid to perform. That doesn’t mean skydiving, it means those small things which we love to avoid. Going to the dentist, asking a girl out on a date, quitting a dead-end job, having a difficult conversation with the family, signing up for a gym membership, etc.

Doing “scary shit” builds confidence because you’re conquering fear. After it’s done and you’re still alive, you’ve proved yourself capable of improving your life. Taking right action is rarely easy, but neither is feeling like shit about yourself.

Putting off scary action is like procrastinating on a surgery. The consequences might not be apparent today. However, in time you’ll deal with an even larger problem. If you make it a habit to take care of scary things as they arise, you typically won’t have a confidence issue. You’ll feel good about your life and the direction that you’re headed.

Building Confidence

Here are some examples of building confidence through right action.

  • Lack of confidence with women. Resolve to speak to 10 women a week and see what happens.
  • Lack of confidence with your shirt off. Go to the gym and get a personal trainer.
  • Lack of confidence intellectually. Stop watching television, sell the Xbox, start reading books (33 Books to Read Before You Die).
  • Lack of financial confidence. Start reading about effective ways to build wealth and create a plan to increase your income.
  • Lack of confidence in your future. Define your dream lifestyle and lay out the steps to get there.

The truth is that if someone put a gun to your head you could probably tell them exactly what you need to do to improve your self-confidence. But knowing is not enough, you must act on that knowledge. Starting small is a good way to get the ball rolling in the right direction. However, the big-picture aim is to proactively take right action and gain massive confidence in all areas of your life.

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