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How to Understand Women – 3 Books That Help

How to understand women

When seeking to understand women you must ignore her words and focus on her actions. However, you can see her actions and still be baffled. So we turn to books. These three have been instrumental in my journey of deciphering female psychology.

1. The Evolution of Desire

Women seek commitment from men

The Evolution of Desire looks at intergender relationships in terms of the propagation of the human species. Based on data from more than 10,000 people, David Buss finds that, universally, men are attracted to young, beautiful women and women are attracted to high status, powerful males. You probably knew that but it’s just the tip of the iceberg. A more interesting segment is an explanation of what matters to each sex in a relationship.

Women seek commitment and resources. These give her the best chance of successfully raising a child. Men seek the chance to sleep with multiple women, which gives them the best chance of fathering an offspring. The implications are interesting when it comes to cheating. A women will be most distraught when her partner develops strong feelings for another woman, even if he doesn’t sleep with her. A man will be most distraught when his partner sleeps with another man, even if she has no feelings for him.

2. The Way of the Superior Man

The Way of the Superior Man describes the ideal man and how women react positively to him. In order to become this man, Deida encourages men to work towards their foremost purpose in life. Sometimes that may come at the expense of time with his woman. This contradicts what many women will say they want. However, woe to the man who takes a woman’s words at face value. Women are attracted to the life force and purpose of their partner. Sacrifice that and you sacrifice the relationship. A quote from the book,

A woman sometimes seems to want to be the most important thing in her man’s life. However, if she is the most important thing, then she feels her man has made her the number one priority and is not fully dedicated or directed to divine growth and service. She will feel her man’s dependence on her for his happiness, and this will make her feel smothered by his neediness and clinging.

3. The Rational Male

Hypergamy can manifest as an attraction to a high status male who isn’t necessarily physically attractive

The Rational Male will irreversibly alter your understanding of women (and society). For example: the average male’s mistaken understanding of female attraction/love. It’s an error to use a masculine perspective to understand female desire. Unlike men, women are driven by hypergamy (the pursuit of a higher status mate). Rollo Tomassi explains how this influences mate selection, the propensity to cheat and many other intergender dynamics.

Tomassi is also responsible for popularizing the idea of SMV (Sexual Marketplace Value). SMV illustrates how the sexual desirability of men and women changes depending on age. This is a crucial concept to understand, especially for young men.

How These Books have Influenced Me

Women crave a man who won’t deviate from his life’s path for her

Ignore is bliss, except when it comes to understanding women. What you don’t know can make your life hell. While there is obviously still quite a bit I don’t understand, I now have a clearer understanding of what drives women. They want a high status mate who refuses to compromise himself.