SMV stands for Sexual Marketplace Value (how desirable you are to the opposite sex). SMV can help you to understand men and woman’s changing desirability and to pick a better long term mate when you’re ready. Section 1 provides context and Section 2 breaks it down.
1 – Matt’s Story
Matt is an ambitious 24 year old living in Miami. In university he had a couple of one night stands and two girlfriends. However, as an underling at a marketing firm he’s struggling to get laid. At the moment a majority of his sex life revolves around Pornhub.
Matt often sees older executives driving BMWs with young women and he resolves to work harder. Jenny, an attractive 28 year old, takes notice. She starts hanging around Matt and offers to have lunch with him. This escalates into drinks for dinner and they end up at his place. After a month they start dating. Matt is thrilled. Jenny is smart, sexy and she seems so cool.
“I think I’ve found a real winner!” He tells his friends and family.
A year later Matt proposes and Jenny accepts. He’s 25 and she’s 29. Jenny is happy because she’s found a man with potential to reach upper management. Matt is happy because he no longer has to worry about his sex life.
2 – The Effect of Age on the SMV of Men and Women
With a better understanding of SMV Matt may have chosen to forego marriage in his early twenties. Here’s why.
Guys in their early twenties have a low SMV. That is, younger guys tend to be less attractive to women. It’s normal to go through dry spells. Just because you struggle to get laid now does notmean it will be a problem for life.
Women in their twenties, particularly their early twenties, have a high SMV. They are as attractive as they’ll ever be and they typically have multiple options for sex.
As men and women age the SMV of each switches. By the time a man and a woman are 30 their SMV will be the same. At 35 the values will be opposite of what they were at 25. A man now has multiple options to attract partners, especially younger, more desirable women. A 35 year old woman has less opportunities and will often complain about a lack of “dateable” men.
Sexual Marketplace Value is based on two fundamental ideas.
Women prefer high status men. Usually that’s high earning, well connected, confident and/or socially desirable men. These things usually take years for a man to obtain which explains why the average male isn’t highly sought after until later in life.
Men prefer young women. For most men this manifests as an attraction to women between 22 and 26 years of age.
Of course these statements are all based on averages. There are thousands of young men who successfully attract the hottest women. There are thousands of beautiful women in their thirties who still have their pick of guys. However, on average, these ideas about SMV are valid.
3 – Matt Regrets his Decision
In their twenties women usually look awesome, but that can rapidly change
After five years of marriage Matt is a confident, 29 year old executive earning $120,000 a year. He gets regular attention from the most attractive women at work. At the bar he catches women staring and wonders what has changed. At 24 he couldn’t attract a woman to save his life. Now he has multiple options.
Meanwhile, Jenny is 34. She’s gained weight and doesn’t bother with her appearance like she used to. Matt likes Jenny but he has to admit that he isn’t attracted to her anymore. After five years she’s not nearly as good looking as when they were married. Stuck, Matt often wishes that he had put up with a few years of not getting laid. If he waited he could have enjoyed freedom to enjoy an active sex life.
Matt isn’t real, I created him. However, there are millions of men who find themselves in a similar situation. They struggle to get laid and are quick to jump on marriage when it’s offered. It’s only later that they discover wealth, status and wisdom make them more attractive. For men our thirties are the golden age for sex, but only if we’re still single to enjoy them…
4 – TL;DR
Men in their early twenties (usually) have few options with women. It’s normal to have a sub-par sex life.
Women in their early twenties have many options. It’s normal for them to consistently get laid and to have an active dating life.
Around 30 the values switch. Men in their late twenties and thirties tend to sleep with and date the most desirable females. Women in their late twenties and thirties tend to lose the ability to attract the most desirable males.
For a male, getting married in your twenties is rarely a good idea. You’ll be committing yourself to a single woman before your SMV has reached its full potential.
This post is just the teaser. To fully explore the implications of SMV you’ll have to get acquainted with Rollo Tomassi over on The Rational Male blog.