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3 Things that Every Guy Can Do to be More Attractive

3 Things that Every Guy Can Do to be More Attractive

Transforming yourself into a guy that women fight over can take years, even if you devote considerable energy to it. In the last 18 months I’ve talked to thousands of women and I’m still a long, long way from being all that I’m capable of. However, thinking short term, there are three simple changes that you can make today which will have an immediate impact on how women view you.

1 – Stand Up Like you Deserve to Exist

Tom Hardy has excellent posture without looking like a drill sergeant

Cool guys have great posture. They walk with their shoulders back, chest out and head back. A good rule of thumb, suggested by Wade Alters, is that your chin should never extend past your chest. Tilting your head towards a girl when you’re in conversation is called pecking, a big turn off. Champions maintain straight posture and get closer to a girl with their entire body.

While good posture is paramount it’s possible to go too far. Ramrod straight, walking like you have a stick up your ass. This isn’t much better than poor posture. To get the proper posture, pull your shoulders all the way back, stick out your chest and bring your head as far back as it will go. Then relax everything by 20%, this should result in a confident stance that feels comfortable.

2 – It’s About Your Tonality, not What You Say

There are three types of tonality: trying for rapport, neutral and breaking rapport. When you’re speaking with women it’s best to use neutral or breaking rapport. These tones unconsciously display that you’re not worried about her approval and confident in expressing yourself. Trying for rapport is the worst. Nothing says let’s just be friends like a guy who uses trying for rapport a lot.

Like over-the-top posture you can take this too far. I’ve found that if you use nothing but breaking rapport it can push the girl away. It’s a commanding tone that is attractive in small doses but irritating if overused. Besides talking to girls, it’s useful to be aware of vocal tonality in all aspects of life. For instance, if you need to get people to listen to you, breaking rapport is the best way to capture attention.

3 – Look Her in the Eye

You’re aware that eye contact is important, but what grade would you give yourself on it? It’s a tricky thing to master because we often break eye contact without meaning to. Even though it’s sometimes impossible to control in the moment, the instinct to look away can be gradually eradicated. The more time you spend talking to girls, the more conscious effort you put into eye contact, the longer you’ll be able to hold it. I’ve even found that you can overdo it until girls say things like,

Why are you being creepy!” or “Stop looking at me like that!” 

This is good! It’s 10x better to have a girl feel uncomfortable because of your intense eye contact, versus her thinking that you’re a weak-beta-bitch because you can’t look her in the eye. Once you get to the point where your eye contact is fantastic, you can back off a bit and get into that sweet zone. It takes practice but the payoffs are enormous.

5 Ways to Never Run out of Things to Say to a Girl

Never run out of things to say to a girl

Every man is capable of conversation, nobody ever runs out of things to say to their grandma. Guys run out of things to say to a girl because they’re nervous to fully express themselves. Permanently fixing the problem comes down to talking to hundreds of women and gaining confidence in expressing your personality. However, until you reach the point of effortless conversation, here are some tips that you can apply right now.

  1. Ask lots of questions. “Interview mode” is not ideal, however, between walking away from the girl or asking a bunch of questions, go with the questions.

    “Where are you from, what do you like to do, what’s your favorite movie, where have you traveled, do you have any siblings, etc.”

  2. Free associate. Maybe you start talking about a TV show, which reminds you of watching a movie with your family so you talk about that. This reminds you of your home town and how you hated it, so you tell her about your stupid high school, and so on. The key is to be non-judgmental about what comes out of your mouth. Your words don’t have to be witty or interesting, the only criteria for success is that you keep speaking.
  3. Find something silly and make it interesting. When I was learning how to talk forever, me and my wingman would go out to the bar, hit on girls and challenge each other to talk about ridiculous shit. The key to making this work is enthusiasm. We’d say things like,

    “Holy shit, have you ever realized how amazing fire alarms are! Think about how many lives they must have saved, I’m really glad we have them.”

    Or

    “Would you just look at this nice wood bar. Think about how many people have put their beers down on it, how much action it’s seen. I think it’s incredible how many memories have been created here.”

    Is this good game? No, definitely not. However, the goal isn’t to have the best game, it’s to train yourself to feel comfortable talking about anything.

  4. Dig for commonalities

    Find something that you have in common. This is like digging for gold. You ask questions about her life until you find something that you have in common. Then you riff on that topic. In fact, this idea works well for anyone you’re talking to. If you can find a commonality you’ll instantly build more rapport and the conversation will be more interesting.

  5. Talk about whatever you enjoy most in life. This works because girls respond well to guys who speak with passion. The worst thing you can do is talk about something that you find boring. You’ll lose interest in the conversation, the girl will become bored, everything will fall apart. I enjoy traveling and I’ve been all over the world, so I typically lead the conversation in this direction. Sometimes as much as half the interaction will be us talking about where we’ve been, where we want to go and what countries we liked the best. This is my X-factor in conversation, finding your own X-factor is an easy way to extend every interaction.

No matter where you’re at, running out of things to say is something that you’re capable of overcoming. I used to have massive problems and I thought I’d never get it handled. Boy was I clueless. With these tips and enough practice you can get over this problem for good.